


One Direction: We Know Drama

by khaleesiq



Category: One Direction (Band), Real Person Fiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-22
Updated: 2013-08-22
Packaged: 2017-12-24 06:40:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/936601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/khaleesiq/pseuds/khaleesiq
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aziz takes his cousins Harris and Darwish to Kanye West's party and they end up meeting One Direction.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Direction: We Know Drama

**Author's Note:**

  * For [WhiteBoat12](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhiteBoat12/gifts), [elduderino](https://archiveofourown.org/users/elduderino/gifts).



> So my sisters and I have been watching Aziz Ansari stand up and we thought it would be funny to write a fic about Aziz and Harris meeting them. This is dedicated to Sofie and Becca :)

"Where's Kanye?" Darwish demands not even five minutes after they arrive at the party.

Aziz sighs and says, "I don't know where Kanye is, we just got here. For all we know he might not even be here yet."

Darwish groans and leaves Aziz behind with Harris, probably to go and find Kanye himself. Aziz looks over at Harris who seems bored and annoyed already. He wouldn't have even brought Harris along if he hadn't mentioned getting some Cinnabon after the party and Harris insisted that Aziz bring him.

"This party sucks," Harris comments suddenly. "I could be at home watching TNT right now."

"You know what, Harris, you didn't have to come," Aziz says.

"I wanted Cinnabon," Harris tells him, as if that totally justifies his presence here.

Aziz rolls his eyes and heads for the bar. He's going to need to be more drunk if he's being forced to deal with Harris for the night.

As he walks up to the crowded bar he runs into someone trying to balance five drinks in his hands. The drinks fall from the person's hands and spill onto both Aziz's and the other person's clothes before crashing onto the ground.

"Oh, fuck, I'm so sorry," Aziz apologizes to the other person as someone with a towel hurries to help clean up.

"It's fine, it happens," the person assures him. Aziz jerks his head up, because he recognizes that voice from somewhere, and realizes that he's talking to _Liam Motherfucking Payne_.

"No, I should've been looking where I was going," Aziz tells him, because he can't let Liam fucking Payne from One fucking Direction take the blame for him.

"Well I probably shouldn't have been trying to balance five drinks at once," Liam says, laughing. "I probably should've made Niall help me or something."

" _Niall's here_?" Aziz shouts excitedly. He can't help that he's a grown ass man that has a huge obsession with Niall Horan.

"Yeah, all of the lads are," Liam tells him, smiling. "Do you want to come meet them?"

Aziz is about to say, "Fuck yeah I do!" before he remembers Harris. Fucking Harris and his stupid Cinnabon obsession.

"Just hold on a second, I have to get my cousin, Harris," Aziz explains. Liam nods and lets him know that he'll stay here and wait while Aziz goes to find Harris.

He finds Harris in the same place he left him, looking even more bored than he was before. How can he be bored at a club? The kid watches fucking TNT all day for crying out loud.

"C'mon Harris, we're going to meet One Direction," Aziz tells him.

"Who said I wanted to meet One Direction?" Harris complains.

"Fuck you Harris! They're the most popular boy band in the world why wouldn't you want to meet them?" Aziz says.

Harris rolls his eyes but follows Aziz to where Liam is waiting for them anyway. Liam smiles and introduces himself to Harris. At least Harris is polite enough to answer back and shake his hand. Liam leads them through the crowd, weaving in and out of groups of A-list celebrities (after all, it _is_ a Kanye West party).

When they arrive at Liam's table, Aziz can tell by the way Liam's eyes widen that he's just realized that he forgot to order more drinks for the boys.

"Really Payne?" Louis teases. "I should've known not to trust you to get our drinks."

Liam blushes before gesturing to Aziz and Harris. "We've got company."

All four of the boys' eyes widen when they notice Aziz standing there.

"Holy shit," Louis says, grinning. "It's such an honor to meet you Aziz, the lads and I are _huge_ fans."

"Thanks guys," Aziz says, his heart swelling with pride because he can't believe that the biggest boy band on the planet are fans of _him_. "I'm big fans of you too. Oh, this is my cousin Harris by the way."

All of the boys exchange a quick glance before bursting out with, "Nooooooooo! We gotta boot him nowwwwwwwww!"

As the boys erupt into laughter Harris glares angrily at Aziz. Not wanting an argument to break out between Harris and Aziz (although Aziz knows that wouldn't be _that_ bad since all of his arguments with Harris are _hilarious_ ) Liam suddenly says, "Harris, do you want to get some more drinks with me?"

Harris nods but Aziz says, "I'll come with you, since it was my fault that you spilled your drinks."

"Wait, what?" Niall says, confused and waiting for Liam to explain the situation to them.

"Yeah, he accidentally ran into me while I was carrying our drinks back to the table," Liam informs them.

"So you're telling me, that _Aziz Ansari_ is the reason we don't have drinks right now," Niall says incredulously.

"Er, yeah, pretty much," Liam says.

"Oh, well then it's totally cool, mate," Niall says to Aziz.

"So if it had all been my fault it wouldn't have been cool?" Liam questions, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, but Liam, it's _Aziz fucking Ansari_ ," Niall says. Aziz would be lying if he said he didn't get excited at how Niall is talking about him like he's the coolest thing since sliced bread right now.

Liam rolls his eyes at Niall and says, "Alright, let's just go get them their drinks before they decide to replace me in the band with you."

Aziz nods and this time it's him leading the other two back to the bar. They have to wait a while before they get to place their order, and then it's another fifteen minute wait for the bartender to make their drinks. As they're waiting, _What Makes You Beautiful_ comes on. ( _What the fuck kind of club plays One Direction?_ Aziz can't help thinking.) Aziz looks over and sees Liam nodding his head along to the music.

"These beats are dope," Liam comments, obviously referring to his song that's playing currently.

"Oh fuck, not you too," Aziz groans. "I swear to god, all you musicians are exactly the same!"

Liam raises an eyebrow at him (clearly he has not watched Aziz's stand-up as much as the other boys have) but doesn't ask Aziz to explain himself further because their drinks are finally ready. Aziz and Harris help carry a couple of the drinks back to the table.

The boys include Aziz and Harris in their conversation easily, and Aziz finds that he really enjoys talking to them and they're all much nicer and more friendly than he was expecting.

At one point, Harry asks them if they're doing anything after the party.

"We're going to Cinnabon," Harris says, grinning, before Aziz can say anything. Honestly, this kid's obsession with Cinnabon is verging on a new level of unhealthy.

"What's Cinnabon?" Liam and Zayn ask at the same time.

"Alright some of you don't know what Cinnabon is," Aziz starts, "so I'm gonna explain it to you. You know when you eat a cinnamon roll and it's really fucking amazing? That's Cinnabon."

Louis and Niall practically fall out of the booth, they're laughing so hard, but Liam and Zayn just look even more confused.

"It's just a place that makes _amazing_ cinnamon rolls," Harris tells them.

Suddenly, the music filling the club cuts out and someone is clearing their throat into a microphone. Aziz turns around and sees Kanye standing in the center of the club with none other than Darwish.

"Listen up y'all," Kanye says, "I'm gonna introduce you to my new friend, Darwish, and we're going to rap to some dope beats."

After they finish with their rap, Aziz offers to take the boys to Cinnabon with them, but they turn him down, explaining that they need to get some rest before their show tomorrow. Aziz and Harris say goodbye to them and go to find Darwish.

As they're walking out of the club Aziz asks Harris and Darwish if they had a good time. Darwish tells him that of course he did, he met Kanye fucking West.

"What about you, Harris?" Aziz says.

"I still wish I had stayed at home and watched TNT," Harris answers.

"Do you want Cinnabon or not, Harris?" Aziz says.

"Fine, I had a good time, alright? Harris says. "Can we get some Cinnabon now?"


End file.
